At One with an Island - Salt Spring Revisited

I never intended to write a memoir, At One with an Island, Salt Spring Revisited, about  my time on Salt Spring Island. I mean what hasn't already been said? 

Salt Spring is one of the southern Gulf Islands in British Columbia, 35 minutes by a BC Ferry from Victoria, B.C. 

Too many years ago between not intending to write the  book and finally finishing it, (which took me forever),  I took a course at SFU's Writer's Studio program, and then another one, and I needed to write SOMETHING back then.

The first thing that came to mind then, because I'd just returned from living on the island, was to try and capture some of my island experiences. 

Then, to frame why the island has meant so much to me, I felt I had to backtrack. I had to explain some of the life stuff that had really impacted me to put me in the mindset of mid-life escape, not that it ever takes much to get me into that "escape" mindset.  

I first set foot on the island and Ruckle Provincial Park  and Ruckle Farm more than 30 years ago and my many "revisitings" have been some of the happiest times of my life. So I set out writing about some of my experiences, and some of the people I encountered while living there.

It gives me a lot of pleasure to re-read these experiences and revisit that time. I wrote it mainly for myself, to have a tangible legacy of that time in my life.

It's scary to put a book out there about a real place and real people, even if some of their names have been changed.

I thought about it for a long time, too long for sure. Gave up, went back to it and finally finished it a few months ago.

If all goes well, it will be available through Amazon.ca books one week from this posting, beginning Sept. 17, 2024 at 5pm Pacific Daylight Time.

Feel free to buy it. Because you're curious, because you're a mid-life female looking to shake things up in your own life and want to read about someone else's experience, or because you might even be in it!

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1778354262

Original Intention as Safety Net

A few weeks ago in preparation to write a feature on this woman named Francine Carlin for a Women in Business supplement, she said something to me that I really needed to hear that week.

We were talking about transitions in mid-life because she's about to organize a mid-life transitions dialogue group here and she said “You have to trust that when you made the change (in your life) you had an intention to succeed or discover [or whatever that original intention arose from] and that original intention is your safety net.”

What that meant to me is that when I first moved to Salt Spring the thing that allowed me to make the move, the belief that it was the right thing to do is what I must return to any time I have a week that is making me have some doubts about my decision because that original intention is where the truth lies.

I was feeling bored at the part-time job because it had been particularly slow that week. I was thinking perhaps at 48 it's too early to settle for work that pays poorly and isn't that mentally challenging. Actually, that's true at any age as far as I'm concerned. On the other hand it's interpersonally a little challenging because of some of the types of people that tend to walk through the door and I like that about it. It's a lesson a day in human nature, including my own.

When I'm feeling like I was about a week ago, I have a tendency to forget all the positive things because I've begun to take them for granted.

And it's a growing list that includes:
Playing in a really fun band led by Wendy and Derreck
Spending more time than ever taking photos and then selling them.
Writing consistently for The Driftwood and Aqua and meeting really interesting people as a result.
Being a vendor at the market and meeting people through that venue.
Meeting two people recently, one of them being Charles who I feel are going to prove to be significant in my life related to work in photography and writing.
Having a co-worker who I look forward to talking to every day and who I like.
Writing for the great Gail Sjuberg through The Driftwood and Aqua.
Becoming friends with Karin Jones.
Writing the introduction to the new Artist Studio Tour guide through meeting Amy Melious;someone I really like.
Gaining a surrogate mother in Pauline.
Living in a cottage that allows me to walk straight in from nature through my front door and being able to drive 10 minutes to work.
Being a part of a community where just about every night of the week some artistic/musical event that I can almost always afford to go to and of really high quality is happening and where some amazing people reside.

Put in that perspective, it seems like the original intention has just begun to unfold really well as I had envisioned and it's only been 7 months.

So, if you're feeling a little challenged by a decision you made recently, or just having one of THOSE weeks, perhaps you just need to remind yourself that your original intention is the one that holds the most power and resonates to the highest truth. Believe that. Then, keep working smart to make things happen as you envisioned when the seeds of the original idea and gut instinct sprung forth.

The Stairways to Transition (Aren't Perfect)

In a continuation of yesterday's topic, how strange that I should write the blogpost The Art of Reinventing Yourself only to then interview (on the same day) a woman who has hosted a transition circle for mid-life women and is interested in launching one here on Salt Spring. Her name is Francine Z. Carlin.

She has a public relations and communications education and background and is from the U.S. She has worked in Washington, D.C. with national unions there as their spokesperson to name just one type of work she's been involved with.

More importantly, she's done a lot of other personal development work (conflict resolution, group dynamics, work focused on soul) that she incorporates into the work she now does with family run businesses.

After I interviewed her, I realized that there was something very important that I'd left off yesterday's list (well, actually, I'm sure there are many more than that) but I forgot to add:

Make it a priority to create an amazing support network around yourself of people who unconditionally support whatever you choose because they have faith in your wisdom and your abilities based on their experience of you and that's good enough for them to offer unconditional support.

When I was in Vancouver in the last year or two I felt that I had done this. I very consciously let go of anyone who was not supportive of me or who I didn't feel had faith in me.

It's amazing what you end up with when you do that. You end up with the most amazing circle of people who even if they don't necessarily understand your choices or even agree with them will, because of their faith in you as an individual, go with it and be supportive. I have that - in Vancouver - and now I need to create it here as well.

That understanding was life changing for me. When you grow up in a family environment that's highly critical, you don't necessarily understand that it's a way of being you can choose to have nothing to do with.

Recognizing that you can choose who you let in and who you consciously choose to let go of is very freeing.

The thing about this "transition group" that she's interested in bringing together is that there is such a lack of sacred space to speak about things that affect us at a deep level and the time to look at how we're living intentionally, rather than just moving from morning to evening, over and over without any personal reflection on how we want to be living and how to take the steps to make change.

Intentionally taking the time to focus on how you're living in comparison to how you want to be living is the first step to begin to make change.

As Francine said yesterday, "Life's too short to talk about the weather".