Overboards hit Overload on Carnival

I've been doing a bit of research on cruise ships, not because I ever wish to go on one of those floating palaces of gluttony but because I'm supposed to write about a floating turd masquerading as the Love Boat given the relatively laughable and unenforceable rules, in Canada at least, on cruise ships dumping bilge, sewage, grey water, etc.

But, instead of finding out about that shit, I came across a website that makes enquiring minds like mine wonder, What is it about Carnival Cruise lines that makes people want to jump?

You undoubtedly will not know that 30 people have gone overboard on Carnival Cruise Lines between 2000 and 2008! In second place for such a dubious record, with 17 passengers overboard in that same time period, is RCI.

Is it that Carnival cruises are the equivalent of Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale? People are so wasted that they think they're headed for the water closet when in fact they're opening a trap door to oceanica?

Is it because suicidal people, coincidentally, just happen to take cruises on Carnival and decide to jump? They can't be that depressed. They managed to get themselves on a cruise. They could have just gone to their apartment balcony which would require a lot less effort and thereby foregoing that tedious lifejacket exercise before the world's largest dessert cart blows its Bon voyage whistle.

Or is it possible that the number represents, as well, a highly gifted few who are in the running for a Darwin Award and actually, beyond all probability, managed in the ultimate act of klutsiness to trip and flip, right over the flippin' side of the boat?

Is it because a lot of old people go on cruises, sometimes with their younger relatives or their paid caregivers and just by chance, on a particularly grabby, crabby whiney, bitchy day, their caregivers exchange caring for plotting their former loved ones soon to be mysterious disappearances?

I don't know. Won't be there or hopefully say I've ever done that. Cruised. Or Jumped. Been pushed. I'm afraid of heights. Cannon balls are unbecoming.

Check it out for yourself on a site called Cruiseship Junkie before you book your honeymoon (or celebrate your divorce) on board or could that be overboard? All aboard. At your own risk.