Things have begun to go a little sideways with "my lady" and as a result I am very tired and feeling like, what now, what now, and worried about my living arrangement. A recent fall means she requires more assistance than when I started and more than I had in mind that I'm happy to do in exchange for "free rent." Predictable by those of you who thought I wouldn't last a month doing this I'm sure. Luckily, everyone - the other caregivers and her family - is very understanding about why I might be feeling the way I am.
As a result, since the first time I've been on Salt Spring, I have been feeling less than happy - worried, troubled, and tired. The other day, Thursday, I ran into this guy who sells at the market. He makes these amazing twig chairs and furniture fit for eco-kings and queens.
His name is Tom. I said hi to him and he proceeded to tell me how wonderful things are for him, and how as a stonemason and a furniture maker he pretty much just gets to work for people who he loves - his friends and neighbours. Then, he just pronounces: "You just have to surrender." He wasn't really saying it to me as advice as much as just throwing it out there, as if he was reminding himself and me and the universe.
That statement stopped me. We'd only chatted for about 2 minutes before he said it. I looked at him and said, "Wow, it's as if you're my messenger for today or something."
"You just have to surrender." We talked a bit more about that concept, how it's not a one-time thing. When I walked away, I was wondering what exactly that meant in relation to my problem at the moment. Surrender to what I know? I don't want to do this now. Surrender to where I'm at? You're here, just go with it and see what happens next? Could the message be a little more directive? Not quite gettin' the jist of it. Dontcha hate that?
Let's all just surrender. I do know that when things are going the way they're meant to be going that it is quite effortless; things fall into place. When you find yourself trying way too hard for too little outcome, that's always a sign, I think, that perhaps you're just not meant to be doing what you are determined, bang your head against the wall, get out of my way before I kill you are trying to do.
Have you ever had the experience of surrendering and having circumstances transform? Any other sage advice?
Share your wisdom in a comment.