New Mexican Sky
Last night I went to an "event" that happens here on the first Friday of each month. It's a clairvoyant night. There is a spiritualist church here and I hadn't been since I'd first come to Salt Spring so I thought I'd check it out again last night. The first time I went there were lots of people and nothing happened for me. It happens in the basement of the Masonic Hall.
I walked in and there weren't many people there, maybe about 10. Two spiritualist ministers were at the front of the room. They dress in good clothes and they could be your aunt or your kids's kindergarten teacher. They don't look weird in any way. If you saw them in the grocery store, you wouldn't look twice at them. They don't advertise themselves with all sorts of crazy titles like shamanic healer or experienced near death participant or remote sensing expert.
As an aside, I was reading this new magazine called True Blue Spirit, Pursuits of Intuitive Living, when I came across this ad for someone who is a counsellor and the heading said, (are you ready for this?) Heard by the Herd. It actually made me laugh out loud. I don't want to be mean because we're all just trying to do our thing but please. Heard by the Herd? Most of just want to be heard by somebody. Period. We don't need the whole herd to hear us. Would you go to a counsellor who advertises with the words Heard by the Herd. I can't even say it without laughing. I digress.
Back with the clairvoyants and mediums, while waiting for this meeting to begin, I suddenly could feel that one of the women at the front was looking at me. She was looking right at me and I was thinking, Oh god, please don't come to me. Because, when they hear or feel or whatever happens for them, they look at you and say, "May I come to you?" Of course you're not typically going to say no. I've never really had it happen before.
She stands up and starts saying, "I have this woman. She has the most beautiful grey/white hair. She's a little taller than me but not very tall. She's digging something. A pitchfork. No. A shovel. She's using a shovel but she's not dressed as if she would be working in a garden. The shovel might be metaphorical. It's a shiny shovel like it's not actually used to dig in the garden. There's a man behind her. He's got the kind of hair, a brush cut. Does make any sense to you she says?
My mother had really beautiful white hair, I say.
She wants you to know that when you're feeling a little lonely, she comes to you. My first thought was Great. I can think of so many other people I'd rather have around me when I'm feeling lonely. My mother and I always had what felt like a less than loving relationship. Two days before she died when she could have said something nice to me knowing that she'd never see me again in this lifetime, she chose to say something really hurtful that came out of nowhere. She was lying in her hospital bed dying and even then she couldn't look at me and say something really nice to me. And, that has never left me. So I have not missed my mother since she has died because I missed having the kind of mother I now know is possible in the relationships I've had with other mother-like figures.
The woman continued. You've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Turning things over. (True) I think your mother has been turning over a lot of things as well. I'm feeling emotion around the heart, the woman says. It's more than just emotion, it feels like pain. Did your mother have a heart attack? she asks. She had some heart issues but she didn't die of a heart attack I say. Well, I'm feeling a lot of emotion. She wants you to know that she's proud of you. It's important for her to let you know this.
She thinks you are on the right track. She wants you to follow your heart. She's proud of you for doing that. She has a bit of a quirky sense of humour, I just heard the line, Follow the yellow brick road.
I feel that you are coming to a cross roads and you'll have to go inside and feel what you're feeling, feel intuitively to know which direction to take but I feel that you are on the right track.
I forget how she ended it and I'm sure she said other things that I didn't catch as I was listening. As she moved away from me, she said, I'm not sure if I'm being drawn to someone else or if this is still about you but I'm getting two women's names. Eileen and Helen. (My middle name is Ileane). She then moved on to someone else.
I no longer question this kind of experience. I know that some people have developed their intuitive abilities to a point where they "see" things that they're able to pass on that other people don't. I don't question it. I'm just curious. It's good to hear what comes up and when you go there, what's really striking, is the ability of these women to speak in a way that is a way that I don't think you could fake even if you tried. I know the difference between someone making up a story and someone telling you something that is coming to them from somewhere and it sounds very authentic when they begin to talk.
So, there you go. If you ever have a chance to go to a spiritualist church, check it out. Evenings where people practice their clairvoyance happen all over the place.
On the day before Mother's day it was an interesting experience that leaves me wondering.