(this is not a pot plant but it is pretty!)
Hello there,
I’m your neighbour. I’ve never met you, never seen you, but I feel like I’ve shared a joint with you. In my bedroom no less. No. That’s wrong. Not just one joint. Quite a few.
Personally, from some moralistic or legalistic point of view, I couldn't care a less that you smoke pot but unfortunately your lighting up a joint at 2:00 am wakes me up. Oh, and I do care about inhaling THC and other chemicals. I’m having enough trouble breathing on my jogs as it is.
You have to know that the pungent, tell-tale aroma is so STRONG in my bedroom that it wakes me up because let’s face it, your bedroom and mine are mere centimetres apart. One of these nights when I get woken up AGAIN maybe I’ll just go pull the fire alarm and when the cute buff guys show up with their axes I’ll say all coy and innocently, I don’t know sir do you think there could be a grow op in there? My voice will get really high and kinda squeaky at the end of that sentence and I'll point them in the direction of your suite.
Now, I’m not sleeping that well as it is so I’m REALLY protective of my sleep. I like being unconscious for as long as possible in the middle of the night. You can imagine therefore how being woken up at 2:00 am because of the really strong smell of pot annoys me.
Don't even get me started about the smoker on the other side of me and how much I’m having to endure his smoking now that he seems to be unemployed and home all day. I really hate it when other unemployed people interrupt the peace and routine of my unemployedness. It’s a bitch.
Therefore, I was wondering if there was any way possible that you could perhaps smoke pot in your living room or on your balcony but not in your bedroom in the middle of the night? I know, I know, it is 2:00 am and smoking a joint in bed is a lot more comfortable than in the livingroom, especially if you’re about to have sex or you just had sex (you’re awfully quiet so I guess that’s something to be thankful for) but that’s the drag of sharing the planet with too many other people. You may say the same thing back to me but I have one saving grace. Maybe you've noticed how people have become rabid anti-smokers. Well, pot emits smoke. Not to mention that I have the law on my side.
I really hope you can find a creative work around to accommodate me because I don’t think I’m asking a lot and I can imagine that our wonderfully friendly landlords (have you met those people? Especially the wife?) are a lot less open minded than I am on these types of issues given that pot is still considered (laughably) illegal in BC.
Yours truly
PS: I just thought of something. Maybe the next time a real estate developer builds he could opt for a pot friendly building and then all pot smokers could live there together. It would be the opposite of No Pets. It could be a big selling point. Especially given my homeland's most prosperous crop.
What would you do about the potsmoker next door? Leave me a comment!